And reader, they did not disappoint. When watching the raunchier moments in the series, I got all tingly, my knees became weak, and I’m pretty sure I was literally salivating at one point. (Real cute, I know.)
It was clear that, like everyone else who has seen the show, I wanted a piece of Billie’s illustrious sex life for myself. So that’s when it hit me: What if I had sex like Billie for a week?
My partner and I already have a very healthy sex life, but something about the scenes—the poolside sex, the swapping partners, the coital alignment technique—made me want to try something new. So we made it happen.
I studied the entire first season, picked out the seven best (and most realistic) sex scenes to mimic, and did just that. Sure, I may not be Billie and my boyfriend may not be Brad, but trust me, there’s a reason why Billie fantasizes about her ex as often as she does.
Billie’s iconic Kama Sutra sequence
My partner and I decided to start here because, well, there was a lot happening in this two-minute montage. First you see Billie in a Wanton Wheelbarrow variation, then something called the Voyeur, then what’s called a tied-up Face Time, then she’s giving a blow job, then there’s another sex position called the T-Bone, and finally a up-against-the-wall sex position called the Glowing Triangle.
So in the same way Billie started, my boyfriend and I went with the weird wheelbarrow position first, which lasted approximately 30 seconds because I got dizzy and almost face-planted into the carpet.
It got better when we switched to The Voyeur, where we sat up and my legs hung on my partner’s shoulders. (This one felt amazing.)
When we finished, we were pretty worn out, but determined to mimic the scene to a tee, so we kept going. After kissing my boyfriend for a while as we rested, he all of a sudden flipped me over and onto his shoulders. He grabbed a scarf from the closet and tied them above my head as he gave me the best oral sex of my life.
Then, just as I got out of the scarf, I gave him an amazing blow job.
To finish it all off, my boyfriend pushed me up against the wall, whispering in my ear to contort my legs around him, like the T-bone position. After a few minutes, he spun me around as I wrapped my legs around him once again.
And just like Billie’s flashback, this felt like a sexy fantasy. Can confirm: I had one of the best, toe-curling, mind-numbing orgasms of my life.
Billie and Cooper’s passionate sex
I set up my room exactly like the romantic scene: I lit all the candles we own, put on my favorite pink lingerie, and brought out the new satin sheets I bought from Target just for this moment. When I finished, I waited for my partner to get home from work.
As soon as I heard his keys in the door, I got into character. When he opened the door, he couldn’t take his eyes off of me—or the scene he just came home to. Almost instantaneously, he jumped onto the bed, and kissed me all over.
Everything happened naturally just like in the show. We shared soft kisses, “I love yous,” and intermittent giggles. I put the silk sheet over our heads as we continued, but despite how sexy it looked on TV, after about five minutes, neither of us could breathe, so the sheets went bye-bye until we orgasmed together.
Billie and Cooper’s rough kitchen sex
For context, my boyfriend and I don’t really have a kitchen. (We live in a tiny apartment in New York City.) So we decided to improvise and use our make-shift kitchen island as a kitchen table.
When my boyfriend bent me over, it was hot. He pulled my hair, spanked me, and made me feel like I was his—and only his, just like Cooper. But sorry, no clothes were torn in the moment like Billie’s, because that shit is expensive.
Brad and Billie’s sensual morning sex
My boyfriend and I are not strangers to morning sex. Honestly, it’s one of our favorite times—who doesn’t love an orgasm to start the day?
So around 9 a.m. one morning, I got on top of him with the sun still sneaking through our window shades. Since the scene where Billie and Brad have morning sex is so intimate, we went for the same. We whispered “I love yous” into each other’s ears and kissed every inch of each other’s bodies as we could.
I felt my partner’s hands around my butt, tightening when I’d tease him slowly by rubbing my clitoris against him. Then, we had our usual, toe curling morning orgasm.
Brad does the coital alignment technique
I had never heard of this before seeing it during the fifth episode. I had zero idea what it was, but from Billie’s endorsement saying that you’ll basically never feel physically or mentally closer to anyone else after doing it, it became a priority to recreate with my boyfriend.
So a quick explanation for those of you who don’t know: Instead of the normal in-and-out thrusting you’d see in missionary, when performing the coital alignment technique, only the tip of the penis is inside the vagina as the base of the penis rubs against the clitoris. (More on it here.)
And what’s really funny is my boyfriend and I had done this before, we just didn’t know there was a name for it. So when we tried it again, it was just as intimate as Billie described. We never broke eye contact and felt more connected than ever. It was honestly even more beautiful than the scene gave it credit for.
Billie and Brad move-in together
Just like Billie and Brad, when my partner and I first moved in with each other, we did it everywhere. Literally. So for this scene, we decided to pretend like we were doing that all over again.
We started with couch sex where I climbed on top of my boyfriend and started dry-humping him. We took off the little clothes we were already wearing and I started riding him. Since we both love when I’m on top, we finished pretty quickly. But the night was just beginning.
Next, we went to my desk and spent a while banging on my flimsy work chair. In fear of it breaking at any thrust, we decided to move to the bathroom sink. Then, he carried me to our bedroom closet door and we spent a while thrusting against it until I came.
Afterward, we committed to the chocolate syrup portion. And while we don’t have a kitchen table, and the island is too short for me to plank on it, we did the sexy, sticky scene on the floor. So like Brad, my partner drizzled chocolate syrup down my spine. He licked off every inch, but went from the nape of my neck down to my asshole.
TBH, the chocolate syrup didn’t too much for me. We giggled a lot, but I felt like more of an ice cream sundae than a woman at that moment.
Billie and Brad’s bathtub sex
Billie and Brad love fucking in the water. They do it in pools, beside pools, in the bathtub, and more. Basically, if it’s wet, they are probably hooking up there.
Now my boyfriend and I don’t have access to a pool or hot tub, but we still had the option of doing something sexy in our bathtub, like the final episode. So to wrap up our week, I turned on a sexy music playlist and my boyfriend and I laid down together in the tub with candlelight surrounding us.
We dry-humped in the bathtub a bit, but didn’t have sex since pH levels are a thing and I didn’t feel like getting a UTI. So instead, we used our tub time as foreplay, then finished things off in the bedroom with another mind-blowing orgasm.
For a while, my partner and I were more than comfortable just doing our basic doggy style and cowgirl variations. But now that we’ve replicated a week of sex a la the horny goddess herself, that will 1000 percent change. (Like, I will personally write a fan-girl letter to Billie thanking her for putting me on to more positions.)
Now as for the future of this Billie/Brad/Cooper throuple thing happening, TBD what we’ll see. Season two of Sex/Life has yet to be confirmed, but if and when it does, I know my boyfriend and I will already be alllll over it.
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