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Yup, We’ve Got It: The Best Oral Sex Tips of All Time

Whether you’re giving it or receiving it, oral sex is one of the sexiest things you can do with a partner. You’re close, you’re wet, you’re naked, and you’re probably pretty close to orgasming or making your partner orgasm too.

Now regardless of if an orgasm is the end goal or not (because, no, it doesn’t have to be), knowing what to do and how to do it when giving and receiving oral sex is important—for both you and your partner. You want to make it the best experience ever, and that’s where we come in, friends.

Whether you’re here because you have a hard time orgasming, you’re unsure how to articulate what you want to your partner, or you just want to learn some new tips and tricks, we’ve gotchu. Presenting: The 60 best and greatest oral sex tips of all time.

1. Check-in with yourself.

Before diving below the sheets, take a second to decide if oral is what you’re feeling. Preferences change day by day, so what you like yesterday might not be the same thing you like tomorrow. Not only do you want to ensure there’s enthusiastic consent around the board, but if you’re not in the mood to give someone oral, it’s going to bring down the whole experience.

Luckily, there are plenty of types of sex out there to try if you’re not feeling oral. Ob-gyn Amy Roskin, the chief medical officer of The Pill Club, suggests taking the pressure off of yourself and just exploring what feels good in the moment.

2. And with your doctor.

Getting regular checkups is important for everyone, but NYU professor of human sexuality and Lelo sexpert Zhana Vrangalova, PhD, says it’s especially important for vulva-owners. “It’s a good idea to check that there isn’t a yeast or bacterial vaginosis infection going on,” she says. “Many vaginas get these on a somewhat regular basis, so it’s good to become familiar with the typical appearance and smell of your vaginal discharge over the course of the cycle, so before sex, you can check for any unusual changes.”

3. Practice good hygiene.

Not only do you want to keep things clean to avoid spreading bacteria, but Calmerry mental health therapist Diamond Marie says it might actually alleviate some anxiety and make you feel more confident.

“Most people prefer that the genitals are relatively clean when they go down on their partners, as smegma accumulates, and smell and taste become more intense the longer it’s been,” explains Dr. Vrangalova. “If you showered an hour or two before, it’s probably not necessary. If you showered 10 hours ago, then probably yes.”

Granted, it all depends on what you’ve been doing and how comfortable you are with your partner. But remember, vaginas are supposed to smell like vaginas. There’s nothing wrong with you or your natural scent, so don’t let anyone shame you into thinking differently.

4. …And good oral hygiene.

When it comes to oral sex, most people don’t necessarily think about their oral hygiene, but it’s actually pretty important. “Oral health has a direct correlation to the transmission of infections,” says sex and relationship expert Ashley Cobb. “It’s important to consider if you or your partner has any mouth sores or bleeding gums prior to engaging in oral sex.”

But before you scrub your teeth pre-oral, Dr. Vrangalova notes that “flossing or brushing your teeth just before or just after oral sex increases the likelihood of STI transmission, especially if people have sensitive gums that bleed easily.” A good rule of thumb is don’t engaged in oral sex within two hours of brushing or flossing to give your mouth time to recover.

5. Also, please please please don’t douche.

Dr. Vrangalova confirms there’s zero need for vaginal douching or even using heavy soaps. Douching is actually really bad because it alters the pH of the vagina, which makes it more susceptible to infection and bacteria. Rarely is there an instance where someone needs to douche, which is why Dr. Vrangalova suggests sticking to a mild soap to keep everything squeaky clean.

6. It’s a good idea to use a condom.

Oral sex is still sex and can transmit many STIs, including throat chlamydia, gonorrhea, HPV, and herpes, says Dr. Vrangalova. If STIs are a concern, you should consider using a condom or dental dam. Cobb notes this is especially important if you’re playing with a new partner or don’t know their STI status.

    7. And get tested for STIs.

    While we’re chatting about health, I gotta ask: When was the last time you were tested for STIs? Jasmine Akins, a sexual health educator at CAN Community Health says it’s a good idea to get checked at least yearly—yup, even if you’re monogamous. You should also know the symptoms of the most common STIs. Be on the lookout for things like burning when you pee, genital itching, and discharge. Keep in mind that for people with penises, discharge is never normal.

    “People with vaginas sometimes have a harder time noticing these changes in their bodies because discharge is the body’s natural way of cleaning itself,” Akins explains. That’s why getting testing is always a good idea.

    8. Change up your diet.

    What you eat can actually affect your smell/taste, explains Dr. Vrangalova, so if you want to really blow your partner’s mind, consider eating more fruits and veggies. “Fruits with high content in water, like strawberries and pineapples, help with your natural lube and of course, the sweet smell is a plus for your partner,” says Marie.

    But, again, keep in mind that your vagina self-cleans itself, so no need to worry about the smell or taste too much. Its natural scent is completely normal, so, again, do not let anyone judge you for it.

    9. Take a class.

    If you feel self-conscious or just want to up your game, Cobb suggests taking a class, either solo or with your partner. Luckily, there are a lot of oral sex classes—as well as other types of sex classes—available online and in person. “Take a class, watch a tutorial on Youtube, practice at home with a banana,” says Cobb. Whatever helps you feel prepared and confident in your abilities.

    10. Keep going when they’re done.

    Technically there’s no limit for how many times someone with a vagina can orgasm in one session, says Dr. Roskin. So why not keep going after they climax to see if you can give them a second one? Same goes for the other way too: If your partner has a penis, don’t pull away as soon as they orgasm. Lightly stimulate the shaft with your hand or mouth to give them all-over shivers.

    11. Make a playlist.

    For many people, slow and steady wins the orgasm race, which is why ASTROGLIDE resident sexologist, Jess O’Reilly, PhD, suggests really taking your time before even making genital contact. “If you tend to rush, play music and wait for a song or two to finish before diving in between their legs.” Besides, a solid playlist can help amp you up and getting you feeling frisky, no matter the type of sex you’re having.

      12. Touch yourself.

      Another great way to give oral sex is to make yourself feel good while you’re at it. This doesn’t mean you have to 69 (unless that’s your thing), but consider giving yourself some pleasure while you’re giving it. “Fantasize. Touch yourself. Wear a vibrating toy,” suggests Dr. Jess. “Do whatever it takes to get yourself turned on and enthusiasm will flow naturally.”

      13. Try using a vibrator on all partners, even those who don’t have a vagina.

      Ideally, you’ve got a few vibrators you use for your own pleasure lying around, and this can also be a great way to add new sensation when giving oral sex on those with penises. Sex expert Tyomi Morgan recommends a massage wand like the Charmed wand by Sweet Vibes. Because it’s a wand with a curved tip, it makes it extra easy to use to tease your partner.

      14. Try it blindfolded.

          Morgan also recommends blindfolding your partner (obvi with their permission), as it heightens the senses and makes erogenous zones even more sensitive. Tickle their vulva, labia, shaft, balls, or head with a vibrator while blindfolded and the sensation gets even more intense.

          15. Compliment their genitals.

              Don’t you feel sexy and empowered when your partner compliments you? Return the favor and do the same for them. “There’s nothing more amazing than hearing what your partner likes about your genitals,” adds sex and relationship coach Azaria Menezes. Not only does it boost the turn-on factor and your confidence, but it’ll also probably get them even more revved up knowing how genuinely excited and enthusiastic you are to be with them in that moment. In fact, “the more detailed your compliments, the sexier,” she adds.

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              16. Rub their whole body with your hands.

                  While you can def use your hands on your partner’s genitals during oral, it can also be really pleasurable to have your hands take a break from their junk and use your hands on other parts of their body, says Menezes. Use the opportunity to grab, clutch, or rub their inner thighs, hips, or even just grasp their hands.

                  17. Don’t be afraid to get vocal or make some noise (even a long “mhm” works here!)

                      Not only is being vocal during sex a turn-on but they may also create small vibrations, says Menezes. These vibrations, hums, and noises can add even more to the feeling of both giving and receiving oral sex.

                      18. And don’t hold back your slurps.

                      If you feel a little weird about some of the—ahem—less cute noises, try not to. “Let your sounds emanate without inhibition,” says Dr. Jess. “Suck. Slurp. Lick. Don’t hold back.” Not only do these noises also create those feel-good vibrations, but many people find the animalistic quality a total turn-on.

                      19. Make it a point to incorporate eye contact.

                          This one works equally well with both giving and receiving. This is a good way to connect to your partner even if your mouth is full (lol) and it’s a huge turn-on for your partner to look you in the eye when giving you oral, says Menezes.

                          20. Pretend like your partner’s genitals are the only thing in the world that matters in that moment.

                              Being present and 100% focused on giving oral is one of those things where your enthusiasm is nearly guaranteed to turn your partner on, Menezes says. Think about how meh it is when someone is going down on you, but their face and body language is very much reading like “ok how much longer do I have to do this?” Not enjoyable right? If you really wanna turn your partner on, enthusiasm is key here—not to mention it sets the standard for both partners really giving it their all during oral.

                              21. When giving oral, play use your tongue on their whole body, not just their genitals.

                                  Your tongue is a self-lubricating textured muscle that happens to be pretty strong. Work in some licking and sucking on all parts of your partner’s body, like their collarbone, fingers, and more to really turn up the heat.

                                  22. Keep your tongue wet with some mints or chewing gum.

                                      If you tend to get a dry mouth when giving oral, keep some mints or chewing gum in your bedside table for easy access before going down. Specifically, anything with “xylitol” in it can help kickstart saliva function, as Dr. Wendy Askew, OB/GYN previously explained to Cosmopolitan. Just make sure your pets don’t get into the gum—xylitol is poisonous to them.

                                      23. Try going deeper for more spit—IF, and only if, you’re comfy with it.

                                          As Dr. Jarrett Manning, DDS, previously told Cosmopolitan, the anecdotal trick of “going deeper for more mucousy spit” is actually the result of tricking your body into gagging. Keep in mind this is basically tricking your body into going into fight-or-flight response so only do it if you’re 100% okay with it.

                                          24. Experiment with different types of oral sex toys, like a suction vibrator or a sex toy that mimics tongue movement.

                                          For those with vulvas, there are typically two kinds of toys that mimic the pleasure of oral sex: suction vibrators (that feel like suction and use waves and vibration for ultra-intense oral feeling) and faux-tongue-like toys (that have rubber or silicone nubbins that mimic the more superficial feeling of a literal tongue on your vulva).

                                          When it comes to suction vibrators, we recommend the Lelo Sona 2, as it’s been the most popular suction vibrator among staff and many experts, although you can’t go wrong with a Womanizer either since they also specialize in suction toys.

                                          For faux-tongue-mimicry, we like the Lelo Ora 3, which has a thin layer of silicone stretched over a drum with a tongue-like nubbin that moves in circles and different patterns, that along with vibration, can feel very real.

                                          If you’re someone who is typically a bit uncomfy getting oral, getting acquainted with these kinds of toys can open up a whole new world of pleasurable receiving so you can go into your next oral session with full confidence knowing how good it can make you feel. You can also use these toys with a partner the next time your tongue gets tired, or to show your partner how you like to be pleasured.

                                          25. Try a blowjob sleeve

                                          Likewise, for those with penis-having partners, a blowjob sleeve can be a great way to reacquaint themselves with just how pleasurable oral can really be. You can use it together, or have them use it on their own and report back, to make it more of a couples’ activity.

                                          26. Try a blowjob sleeve hack.

                                          If you love the idea of blowjob sleeves, but still want to be actively involved, snip the end of a Tenga egg off, and use it for pinch-hitting when your mouth is tired during a BJ.

                                          27. Use a cock ring.

                                          While you’re exploring sex toys, might we suggest a vibrating ring? If you or your partner has a penis, Dr. Jess says a cock ring is kinda revolutionary. Just be prepared: Your SO probably won’t last long, so this is great to use when you’re on a time crunch.

                                          28. If you’re not already getting lube involved, do it.

                                          You might think of lube as just for penetrative sex, but TBH, saliva is not always as reliable as having a legit eight ounces of the stuff ready to go on your bedside table. Whether you’re giving or getting head on someone with a penis or a vulva, lube is going to make the whole thing way easier and more pleasurable for both parties. Plus, it takes some of the pressure off the giver as well.

                                          29. Tell your partner they taste really good.

                                          Regardless of which gender you’re performing oral on, being told that your genitals straight-up taste good is an insane turn-on. If you’re so into your partner that the pheromones in your brain are kicking in and being like, ‘Yes, this is amazing, every part of it,’ tell them so! Enthusiasm is super effing hot.

                                          30. Experiment with suction on the clitoris.

                                          Cunnilingus is often associated with licking, which is well and good, but suction on the clitoris can also be extremely feel-good. Have your partner try lightly sucking on the external part of your clitoris after tons of licking around the labia to get you warmed up (direct clitoral sensation like this can be too much right off the bat), or try sucking on your partner’s clit. It helps to think of the clit like a tiny penis, and the objective is to give the world’s gentlest blowjob.

                                          31. Keep your undies on during oral.

                                          Have your partner keep your undies on during all the foreplay of oral, exhaling their warm breath over the fabric of your panties, lightly tugging on the elastic with their teeth, etc. When you can’t take it anymore and they’re about to actually make mouth-to-vulva contact, have them push your underwear to the side as they go to town. The primal gotta-have-you-now effect of keeping your undies on will make things even hotter.

                                          32. Get familiar with the Kivin method.

                                          Instead of having your partner approach your vulva with the clit in the north end of their oral compass, have them lie perpendicularly, so your clit is now located in the east or west positions. This way, they can lick your clit from the new north to south, aka side-to-side, for what some say is a truly game-changing oral experience called the Kivin method.

                                          33. Narrate the whole thing.

                                          Yes, your mouth may be occupied, but when you have—ahem—a spare moment, tell your partner exactly what you’re doing and how. There’s more than one way to use your mouth for sex, after all.

                                          34. Get creative with positions.

                                          Penetrative sex shouldn’t get all the fun body contortions. Mix up your oral game by physically moving around and trying new positions, just like you do in the rest of your sex life. The more body parts that are in the air, the better.

                                          35. Do it spontaneously.

                                          Whether you’re bored as fuck watching some documentary or just randomly got horny at the breakfast table, turn a mundane situation into an extremely thrilling one with a quick oral sesh (always, of course, with the full enthusiastic consent from your partner). A rut can also look like doing very exciting sex things always at the same time/in the same place. Mix it all up by bringing your sex life into new and unexpected places.

                                          36. Bring in some toy assistance.

                                          If your mouth and hands are tired (they do a lot of work all day, we get it!), or even if they’re not, you both can and should bring in some nonhuman assistance. With your partner’s permission, add a butt plug or anal beads to up the ante.

                                          37. Put oral sex porn on in the background.

                                          Not all porn is created equal, and there are tons of ethical, very chill options out there for those who are so inclined to enjoy. Find a flick you both like, maybe watch for some new moves or tips, and then get to it while the people onscreen are getting to it behind you.

                                          38. Use your breath.

                                          Mare Simone, a certified tantra educator, says that using your hot breath to stimulate nerve endings is an amazing way to ramp up foreplay before diving in. This works just as well with fellatio as it does with cunnilingus. Next time you’re going down on your partner, just take a step back to breathe on their sensitive parts before making contact. The suspense will turn them on in ways you didn’t know were possible.

                                          39. Try some light prostate play.

                                          Without trying internal prostate play via fingering or toys, did you know you can also stimulate a penis-haver’s prostate externally? Cara Kovacs, an NYC-based sex coach, suggests stimulating your partner’s perineum (located between their anus and balls) by gently massaging the area while going down on them.

                                          40. And consider trying analingus.

                                          Rimming, also known as analingus, is the act of orally pleasuring the anus. “This can involve licking, sucking, kissing, and any other pleasurable act that involves oral-to-anal contact,” explains Marie. As with all oral sex, you want to make sure everything’s clean, but other than that, Marie suggests everyone tries it out since many—regardless of gender or orientation—find it extremely pleasurable.

                                          41. Kiss for a while before moving on.

                                          When it comes to cunnilingus, Kovacs recommends kissing your partner outside their panties (like, on their mouth) for a while until they’re begging for you. “Many people with vaginas need more time to warm up, and gentle touching is a great preface,” she explains.

                                          42. Don’t be afraid to be messy and show enthusiasm.

                                          Regardless of if you’re performing fellatio or cunnilingus, it’s supes important to show enthusiasm. Think about it. The best technical skill in the world doesn’t matter if the giver seems bored, uninterested, or, even worse, turned off while going down on you. Kovacs recommends vocal enthusiasm, eye contact, and smiling to show your partner how much you enjoy pleasing them. It’s also important to be okay with messiness. “Show your partner that you like having their deliciousness all over your face. That nothing about them doesn’t turn you on and that you delight in their delight,” says Kovacs.

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                                          43. Spread the labia.

                                          Along the same lines of not being bashful, Jill McDevitt, PhD, CalExotics’ resident sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ to your partner.

                                          44. Masturbating can help you figure out what you like.

                                          Yes, a tongue is way different than a finger or a toy, but knowing what works for you when you’re solo is at least a good place to start when explaining what you want your partner to do when they’re thigh-deep and ready to go. Do you like constant pressure or increasing pressure? How about speed and pace?

                                          45. Get your whole body into it.

                                          As recommended via a podcast from the pros at Pleasure Mechanics, try stimulating (or asking your partner to stimulate) your whole body first, starting from your legs and working inward toward your clitoris.

                                          46. Switch things up at the beginning.

                                          As many people get close to orgasm, they typically just want you to keep doing that one thing you’re doing without stopping till they get there. A little boring, but whatever. However, to build up anticipation at the beginning, you can try shaking up your routine. Think alternating longer ice-cream-style licks with more traditional full-mouth-over-the-genital sucking.

                                          47. If it’s hard for you to focus on enjoying yourself, turn the lights off.

                                          A shocking number of people have trouble letting go mentally and enjoying oral sex when their partner goes down on them. Sound like you? Try keeping the lights off so you’re less likely to be distracted by your surroundings and more likely to float off into ready-to-orgasm land.

                                          48. You don’t need a partner to enjoy oral-like sensations.

                                          While very few things are going to exactly recreate the feeling of a tongue, some newer vibrators come pretty close. Options like the Womanizer, which utilizes suction, or the Ora 2, which has moving beads to mimic the motion of a tongue, are excellent substitutes. *blissfully counts down the days until technology can replace people altogether*

                                          49. Nope, you don’t need to deep-throat.

                                          If your partner is super into the idea of full-penis sensation, you can deliver that easily without deep-throating. Try wrapping your hand around the bottom of their shaft and taking the rest of them in your mouth. Or place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth. Then let their peen hit the underside of your tongue. No gagging necessary.

                                          When, where, and how your partner ejaculates during a blow job should be something both of you discuss and agree upon. You don’t need to swallow literally ever, nor does your partner need to finish in your mouth at all! You might find it incredibly sexy to watch them finish elsewhere, on your body or their body—there are tons of options.

                                          51. Have them try sucking.

                                          Ask them to switch up their moves and try sucking on your clitoris instead—it provides a more intense pressure. No *pressure* if this isn’t for you though! Some prefer a gentle flicking motion instead.

                                          52. They don’t need to ejaculate for a blow job to be enjoyable.

                                          Many people don’t actually want going down to be the main event. According to a Cosmo poll, 54 percent of people with penises like oral action as foreplay alone. So if it feels like a particular BJ has run its course, switch it up and try something else!

                                          53. Get into flavored lubes.

                                          Sliquid Lip Lickers Flavored Lube Cube Pack

                                          Sliquid
                                          babeland.com

                                          $14.00

                                          If you’re going to be down on someone with a penis, you may as well experiment with different flavors. Lube can add extra sensation to a blow job and be enjoyable to you too. Lots of companies make flavored formulas that taste just slightly fruity or minty, not like candy-coated toxic waste. You can buy a sample pack at most sex toy shops. Just make sure not to use these on vaginas since they could cause infection. Womp womp.

                                          54. Talk! Talk talk talk talk talk.

                                          Communication is so basic but so necessary. Neither one of you can read each other’s mind during sex, so speak up if there’s something you want that they’re not delivering. There are tons of ways to verbalize it if you feel a little tongue-tied, like “It’s so hot when you…” or “I’d love it if you’d try….”

                                          55. Your hands can step up if your jaw feels tired.

                                          You should never be doing anything in bed that feels uncomfortable, but if you’re coming up against a bit of muscle fatigue, try any of these hand job techniques. At the same time, flick your tongue over the tip.

                                          56. Just because they’re going down on you, it doesn’t mean they should ignore your other sensitive areas.

                                          Being stimulated in multiple areas can help you reach climax more quickly. So while their tongue is at work, have them play with your nipples. In the beginning, they should softly stroke your nips, but as you get closer, they can squeeze if you’re into that.

                                          57. Cooling down can be very hot.

                                          Your temperature rises slightly when you’re aroused, so anything cool will be a pleasurable jolt to your senses. Point a fan in your direction so that while he’s between your legs, you’re feeling both the warmth from his mouth and a cool breeze. The combo is unexpected, and anything surprising can send you over the edge.

                                          58. Go ahead, sit on their face.

                                          If you’re having trouble orgasming in a standard partner-in-between-your-legs position, switch it up and mount their face, being careful not to apply too much pressure. It allows your partner to access a totally new angle that might be just what you need to get there.

                                          59. There’s a digital version of oral.

                                          Here’s a unique way to give his frenulum—the tiny bump on the underside of his penis where the shaft meets the tip—some special attention: Place the tip of your finger on it, then take his shaft (along with your finger) into your mouth. As you move your mouth up and down, rub your finger over the F-spot.

                                          60. Get cozy.

                                          You 100 percent do not need to be on your knees to give your partner oral sex. There are so many ways to go down that make it extra comfortable for you, like lying on your back while he kneels over you or arranging pillows to make things softer.

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