It’s that time of year again when I prepare to gift my wife an IOU

‘Steamy windows, zero visibility’. The immortal words of Tina Turner there from her 1989 hit Steamy Windows, presumably an ode to this time of year when colder temperatures mean you are finally forced to turn on the heating, but only after you have covered every radiator in the house in wet clothes. The resulting effect being that your house now enjoys the same humidity as a zoological tropical house, only instead of being filled with geckos and poisonous frogs it’s filled with damp children.

pside: We have eliminated croup. Downside: We need to build Dune-style water reclamation suits out of our battered Miele hoover and Brita water filter jug to manage the amount of water we now have in our air. Tina would be well jealous if she could see just how steamy our windows, walls, doorframes and ceilings are now.

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